The Asinine

A Weekend of Nothing

2007-10-07T18:29:00.000-05:00

Writing this blog post has been probably the most I have done all weekend. I got to sleep in Saturday and then play Neverwinter Nights the rest of the day. Today has been pretty much a repeat of yesterday.

This is what I call a weekend. I'm still getting use to the commute and the earlier rise time.

Next weekend we travel to my sister's for the weekend to celebrate Rae's birthday. So, it will be anything but a relaxing weekend with the long drive to and from there. Glad I got in a lot of rest this weekend.

Memory Walk

2007-08-31T06:57:00.000-05:00

My wife signed up to be a captain of the local Memory Walk that will take place in November. It's a great charitable cause that raises money for Alzheimer's research. Her Grandmother had Alzheimer's for many years, so this cause is near and dear to her heart. She is excited to take part but a little nervous at the same time since she wants to raise a lot of money for her team.

She signed up to be a team captain since there wasn't really a team in our area for her to join. Now she needs to recruit at least 9 team members. She has already had one sign up, and I'm her second one. She hopes to create a t-shirt for members and really fire up people to donate money. She has a couple of incentive ideas that she plans to put in motion within the next week.

Signing up for the Memory Walk was very easy and took not much time at all. Find a walk in your area and then join. Really it's that easy. I'm hoping to recruit a few of my friends since that should put us over the 9 member mark easily. I will be sponsoring her in her goal to raise a lot of money. I haven't done my pledge yet but will very soon. It would be nice for her team to raise at least $200, so that's our goal for September. Then whatever we raise in October is above and beyond our goal.

So, if you are in our area, sign up now to walk for our team. Use the find a walk link from the main page to get started. It really is easy and will take less the two minutes to complete the process.

Moving on Vacation

2007-08-31T06:53:00.000-05:00

Right now we should be at Dragon Con. Instead we are still moving. Because of finances and other reasons, we canceled our plans to attend Dragon Con. We thought we would be done moving but that was just wishful thinking.

I had taken a few days off from work to attend Dragon Con. Good thing I took those days off but too bad I'm spending it packing the rest of our stuff. We have moved a good bit of items but still has a lot to do.

I have begun the huge task of sorting all of my Magic the Gathering cards. There are so many of them. I will probably be selling a good bit but still need to sort through for eBay or for trade.

Moving on my vacation really bites. Hopefully we will be completely done today. If so, then tomorrow is a date night and time to relax. Only for a few hours though since there is still much work to be done in our new home.

Back to School

2007-08-08T11:17:00.000-05:00

So a co-worker of mine was shocked to find out just how close I was to completing my degree. After telling my wife about it, she wanted to send the woman flowers because it is a frustrating point with my wife that I'm so close.

Now with my new job, if I get my degree it means a lot more money. My wife has taken it upon herself to get me enrolled back in school to finish this one class. I will probably have to retake two classes since it's my senior project class. I'm scraping my original idea and will go with something completely different, which means taking the first class over again.

I've already cleared it with my boss to take the classes. I do have to admit that it will be good to finally close this chapter once and for all.

Tournament Update

2007-08-05T08:31:00.000-05:00

While I didn't win, the L5R tournament, I did have a fun time. Well for the most part I did. I found some aspects very frustrating, mainly my playing ability. I got a massive headache and had to drop out because of it.

I was glad to hear that one of the locals won the sword. Some folks from out of town came in to play, which was great since it gives the rookies more playing time with different people.

Hopefully this is the first of many local L5R tournmanets.

Samurai Tournament

2007-07-31T12:29:00.000-05:00

This weekend is the Samurai L5R tournament at our local gaming store. The grand prize is a beautiful sword. It's really nice and since I love swords will be trying to win this one. It will be tough because there will be at least 10 others playing in the tournament.

I'm so glad to see such an interest in the Legend of the Five Rings card game. It's been wonderful to be playing again and introduce new players to the game. There are about five people driving about 50 miles to enter the tourney. There could be many more coming in from out of town too.

It should be a fun time. Of course any time I get the chance to play L5R is a good time.

Rolling Change

2007-07-31T12:25:00.000-05:00

My wife has been putting all of our change (well most of it) into a bank for Rae Rae. She has been meaning to roll it for a while. I keep telling her just to take it to the Coin Star and not worry with it but she is pretty frugal and doesn't want to pay the fee.

It'll be interesting to see how much money our change adds up to. She has been doing this for about two months. The little bank is almost full. Most of it is pennies but there is some silver in there.

Sleeved Cards

2007-07-28T15:37:00.000-05:00

The best way to protect cards is to play with them in sleeves. While it can be challenging to shuffle, it is worth it to keep those cards in great shape. Besides you can work a little strategy into choosing a sleeve color.

Take the game Legend of the Five Rings. Each clan has its own colors. You could use those colors for your cards or really play with your opponent's mind by using colors of other clans. It's best not to give away too much to people you are playing against. Keep them guessing at to what is coming next.

I like to use soft colored sleeves on my most deadliest decks. Why? Simply because it looks nonthreatening and might gain me an upper hand. It might not since people who know me might expect me to try such tactics. But for others who play games, they might can try a change up and it works really well for them.

I think I'm going to go for some cute anime chick sleeves next and go for a femme fatal L5R clan deck. It could work. Oh the possibilities.

Vince Flynn

2007-07-28T15:03:00.000-05:00

My wife rented Act of Treason for me at the library. Ever since I heard Vince Flynn being interviewed on the Glenn Beck show a few years back, I have been a big fan of his and had read all of the books except his last one, Act of Treason.

I finished the last Harry Potter book this week, so I was in need of a new book to read. The paperback version of Act of Treason is due out in August. I would like to pick up all of the hardback copies of his books to have as part of my book collection.

I'm not sure when his next book will be released but hopefully I will get my Mitch Rapp fix and be good for at least a few more months anyway.

Job and College Degree

2007-07-28T14:57:00.000-05:00

Have I mentioned that I love my new job? I have a desk, my own computer, and I work will like-minded people who have the sames goals as I do. It's been hard to find anything to complain about, which explains my absence from blogging.

There are some things to complain about, but all of that is my own fault like not having my college degree. When I told a co-worker that I was only three hours away, she was shocked and gave me the third degree about getting it completed. She is like a mother bear so I wouldn't be surprised if she calls the university and enrolls me herself. This would really bring much delight to my wife, so it wouldn't a bad thing.

My wife and I are too much alike in that we are easily appeased, so now I have a job that really doesn't care about my degree it's hard to get motivated to finish. On the other hand, a degree would mean more money. So I guess there is good reason to finish after all.

Wii at Sam's Club

2007-07-28T14:49:00.000-05:00

If it wasn't for Dragon Con next month, I could be playing the Nintendo Wii. While visiting Sam's Club, my wife and I noticed several Wiis in stock and priced at $249. We need to renew our membership to purchase something, it would put the cost at around $300. Since we are saving for Dragon Con, the Wii will have to wait. Damn us and being responsible.

It is comforting to know that when we do want to buy one, there is a place in town that has them in stock. Well, at least for now.

Legend of the Five Rings Samurai Edition

2007-07-28T14:42:00.000-05:00

So, I've renewed my interest in the card game Legend of the Five Rings in the past few months. Much to my delight, a couple of friends have also taken up playing the game.

The latest expansion pack has just been released called Samurai edition and features over 350 cards. My wife has even begun to play the game, which means I can not justify buying more cards since I'm technically buying for two.

Some of the rules have changed but nothing drastic seems to be different in game play. The rules have become more simplified and streamlined, so it should be good for new players to catch onto this game. There is a lot that goes on in the game and can be quite confusing for new players. Those first few games will be long battles but once players have a firm grasp on the turn sequence, then games will go much faster.

I bought a clan deck last night and chose Spider Clan. I normally play Scorpion but decided to branch out and try Spider. Leave it up to me to play the sworn enemy of my beloved Scorpion clan.

Movies at the Library

2007-07-27T21:29:00.000-05:00

Thank goodness for movies at the library. When you are broke, free video rentals that you can have out for three weeks is a sweet deal.

We also get free movies through My Coke Rewards but the coupon is messed up and has been pulled from the rewards for now. So, there is always the library. It's amazing how many movies that we haven't seen that are available to rent.

It definitely helps especially with reruns on our limited cable channels.

Hidden Expedition Everest

2007-07-21T12:00:00.000-05:00

One of my wife's recent game purchase has been Hidden Expedition Everest. I naturally had to play this game because a) it's a game and b) I can't have my wife having fun without me.

After beating the game, I was still trying to find some hidden hidden objects. Each scene is featured in several levels and sometimes these scenes have a hidden object that wasn't there previously. I was having a bit of trouble in finding all of these items.

It was becoming quite frustrating, so I finally looked it up on the Internet. I found an in-depth guide to where these hidden items are located. I'm not really one to use cheats or ask for hints, but this one was driving me insane. Now that I've completed the game 100% I wonder what my wife will buy next.

5 months til Christmas

2007-07-20T09:45:00.000-05:00

So for Christmas I make all of my friends a personalized t-shirt. I use Adobe Photoshop to design something that they will enjoy and expresses their character. The shirts are well received, so this year I'm going to start earlier in the year buying t-shirts and start designing so many each month.

Usually I end up having to do many shirts in a weekend to get ready for our Christmas party. By planning ahead I can spread out the cost of making the shirts and possibly up my design of last year's batch.

I am thinking of putting the designs on Cafepress to see if anyone else might be interested in one of my designs. I might just order the shirts from Cafepress instead of printing the iron-ons and doing it myself. The quality will be a lot better, not unless I can improve my technique.

Harry Potter

2007-07-19T21:36:00.000-05:00

A co-worker of mine said the when he and his wife went to buy Harry Potter, there was a guy in the parking lot with a bull horn reading from the end of the book. He was also telling which characters die and on what pages.

Do acts like this really fall under free speech? The book store parking lot is still private property, so he might have at least gotten a stern warning from the management. I'm not sure if anyone complained or just ignored his dumb arse.

I just don't get why people try to ruin things for people. Maybe they need their own life instead of using so much effort to ruin the day of others.

LongTimeNoPost

2007-04-13T19:12:00.000-05:00

So it's been a while since I've posted. Mostly because my life changed somewhat so I drop all non-essentials when something like that happens. My little girl is awesome, growing in leaps and bounds while becoming the light of my life (like she already wasn't). I've gotten settled in with my new job and lost my position with BellaOnline. Ok well technically I resigned from the position but it's all the same isn't it?

So what do I do now? I'm an ABAP programmer for BearingPoint Inc. I've had one actual project and I'm on my second faux-project that is really an internal project, but it keeps me busy.

My wife and I have discovered Dreamblade which is a fun game by Wizards of the Coast. Recently my wife discovered a website with free downloadable games such as Code Monkey and Petting Zoo Gangsta. Code Monkey is based off of the hilarious Jonathan Coulton song of the same name.

Anyway, signing off now. That's really light I know but look at what I've posted in the last 4 months? So there you get what you get.

Later!

Too Many Things to Blog About

2006-10-22T19:59:00.000-05:00

Yeah so it's been a while. How are you guys? Don't answer all at once cause the division by zero error would cause an implosion in the space time continuum. [sidebar] How many words actually have two u's in a row? How freaky is that? [/sidebar]

Man there are just SO fricken many things to talk about I don't know where to start. Hmmm ... I could talk about how having a MONTH off fricken rawks. I could also talk about how having a month without a pay check fricken sucks. I could talk about how the wife and I have been spending $$ like drunken sailors ever since I QUIT MY JOB, but that really doesn’t make ANY sense so I'm not even going to try and post it because I'll have to try and defend it. So that ain't happenin'.

I could talk about how much I like NBC's Heroes, but that might be a little passé by the time someone actually gets around to reading my blog, and someone will one day read it because someone will one day get to the end of the internet, and my blog will be there waiting! That's depressing me so I won't blog about that.

I could blog about my visit to my family in the previous week. I could post about how the wife and I spent much of our visit trying to find WiFi hotspots. If you had told me two years ago that I would be concerned with finding WiFi hotspots I would have laughed in your face so I apologize for hypothetically doing that in an alternate possible past that didn't actually ever happen. Oh I could blog about how McDonalds in Hometown, MS is a WiFi hotspot but you have to PAY to log on. The McAllister’s Deli however in the same Hometown, MS gives theirs away for free. I guess we know who the slut is and who the whore is in my hometown. (Sorry I used such language, but the joke just wouldn't have been the same). I could also blog about my little puddin's hysterical terror of my older brother. That one is in this paragraph because it happened during the trip. To explain all that would be a LOT of work so I'm going to skip it for now.

I could blog about my growing re-addiction to a card game that I had thought behind me. Actually make that two card games. The first is Magic: The Gathering and the second Legend of the Five Rings. I've been out of Magic for close to two years or so, ever since the "day of rain that flooded the trunk of my little beater car". L5R I've mostly been out of since nobody else plays. [Insert a sad lonely face here ... perhaps with a touch longing for laminated cardboard behind the eyes]. The whole card games thing is kinda painful so I won't blog about it right now either.

Man what else is there? I've only begun to scratch the surface of all that I have thought about blogging about in the past week or two. Now it has left me. I guess I'll have to settle for a blog about some of the things I could have blogged about. I hope that you don't feel jilted because ... well ok ... feel jilted. I mean here we are at the very end of the internet and instead of a climax you get a ... what? ... an anti-climax. Yup, I jilted ya all right.

Enjoy!

NeverWinter Nights ... 2 !!!!

2006-10-02T22:45:00.000-05:00

Oh the agony. NeverWinter Nights 2 is soon to be released. By soon to be released what I really mean is in a few months. I hadn't remembered that I loved NWN so much. Now, going back to BioWare's Website I am reminded and it hurts so much.

My friend from Oklahoma and I tried playing online a few times but that was in the dark ages when the wife and I were on dial-up. *shudder* The lag was horrible. The fact that only 2 of us were playing was a bit of a drag, but it was MUCH better than playing alone. It never did take off with us though.

We had other friends playing online, but their drug of choice at the time was EverQuest. I played for a while but again dial-up equals teh suck when you are playing a game like that online. NeverWinter Nights however seemed so much more "my style" and I wasn't wrong.

Have I ever mentioned that at one time I owned a Juzam Djinn? From the moment that I started playing Magic:The Gathering I wanted a Juzam Djinn. Why? Not because it is 5/5 fat for 4 black mana, but because the picture freak rulez! Well my Juzam was the crown jewel of my collection and I sold it for $75 so that I cold afford a new video card for my computer. I had just purchased NeverWinter Nigths and my old stuff just wasn't up to snuff. I often lament having to sell the ole boy, but given another chance to do the same I would. NeverWinter Nights was just that enjoyable for me.

Well NeverWinter Nights 2 looks to be so much like the same and more than the original too. I can't wait. I have to wait, and in fact I couldn't afford to run out and buy it if I could right now since if you scroll down slightly you will see that I QUIT MY JOB!!! *sigh*

The minimum specs for NWN2 starts at a 2GHz processor. !?!? Well my box is somewhere in the neighborhood of 2.5GHz so maybe if I turn off shadows and textures, and everything super cool I won't lag. We have broadband now so that's definitely a plus. On top of all that it seems that I've finally connected with a pool of folks who not only play but have their own campaign worlds on persistent servers.

Muahhahahahahahah ... I can't wait.

I was going to say "TO HECK WITH MY OLD JOB" and never go back, but since I can make $50 a week as a plasma donor with close to NO stress (beyond showing my face there again) I just might have what I need to power up my computer AND maybe reinvest in Juzzy again. (I call him that, Juzzy, cause he's special).

More free time

2006-10-02T18:50:00.000-05:00

So I'll be having more free time these days since ..

I QUIT MY JOB!

Not the pay per post one, I'll actually have more time for that one now, but my 40-50 hour a week hell job that I was leaving anyway. I walked out Saturday 2 minutes after I punched in. I'm not proud of it, and I feel pretty guilty about it, but they just pissed me off one too many times.

An incomplete list of grievances includes:

Working almost every Saturday for the past 2-3 months (so I missed DragonCon, HubCon, going to my mom's, several magic tournaments, etc)

Working more than one open-to-close each week for the past 1-2 months with no added benefit (such as Saturday's off hell any other day off)

Working me (or trying to work me) 6 days a week just didn't seem to bother anyone else.

Erratic schedules that change not just from week to week but every three or four days. How the samhill do you make plans when your schedule changes like that?

The only time I was able to take more than 4 days off in a row (counting Sundays which we have off anyway) I was either in Tampa on my training (which technically was work, but it was so much fun it was like a vacation) or my baby was born.

Some people seem to be allowed to get away with murder while those that actually took our jobs seriously were just added the burden of mopping up after them.

While I don't CRAVE positive reinforcement, the number of times that I was told "good job" I can count on one hand (hell half a hand). The number of times that someone criticized me a room full of people don't have enough fingers on which to count. Supposedly I'm was the best thing to ever happen to the lab. WTF?!?

I hated the job anyway. NOBODY thinks working the lab is tough, and EVERYONE thinks that there is all the time in the world to do as much added work as needed. Well there is only ever ONE person in the lab at a time who can only do ONE thing at a time. If the lab gets behind then that person just has to work that much harder to get caught up, where other areas have multiple people to help distribute the load.

The job is more janitorial than it was technical. Do you know how frustrating it is to be a touch anal retentive (just a touch) and have people constantly coming into your workspace and messing stuff up that YOU and only YOU have to clean up? Well, I'm not even full blown Anal Retentive, but that fricken drove me up a wall. When one of my co-workers asked if the people from the floor could break down their boxes after they stock (just break the boxes down and we'll take them out), management went so far as to completely change how the floor stocked supplies AND made it the lab's job to clean up the entire mess (including breaking down boxes).

Excuse me while I have a fit.

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* niassne pants *

Ok ... I'm a little better now ...

-40 degree Celsius freezers. Nuff said.

Ok ... now I'm just getting into the stuff that I don't like, not the stuff that drove me away.

Let me say this though, if I ever say "I _blank_", whatever blank may be, and I'm not smiling and joking around then I MEAN WHAT I SAY. So if I'm not yelling and screaming but I say something like "I really hate closing and working open-to-close shifts" and you close me a lot and work me open-to-close shifts when you tell me "we have more than enough people to work the lab" I'm going to be ticked off, really ticked off. I won't tell you how mad I am, because that's not the kind of person I am. I will give you time to make things right. I am rather forgiving, but the next time you screw with me I'm just going to get madder. It will take longer for me to forgive, but I will. Then if you do it again I'm just going to get madder and madder and so on until I quit you because that's so much better than all the "insane crap" running through my head.

Ungh. I'm so tense I could pop.

Now I have plenty of free time. Free time that I am going to have to fill with making some dough to feed my family. If anyone knows any quick jobs out there let me know. Also let me know if you are doing anything that doesn't cost anything! Wink

Peace, love, and the number of a good psychologist please

TheAss

What a Strange Week

2006-09-22T09:51:00.000-05:00

Well so a week or two ago my wife noted a couple of positions for entry level employees in my hometown. I've been less than content at my current job so applying was a little fantasy to make things easier at work, kinda like a placebo effect to make my current job a little more bearable. Well days after applying, one of the two sends me an email saying essentially "please contact us about a job".

Well normally I'm skeptical because when you use an online job hunting service the results are typically spam, at least they have been in my experience. But the job was more of a technical one and generally you don't see too many of those spamming. Plus the job was part web design which really interested me. So I called, and they were legit.

I went down to a local headhunter's office and took some tests. I scored ok-to-well, and he said he would suggest me to the client, a local ISP for small to medium businesses. Awesome! I then got notice that they would see me and wanted me to come by the beginning of the next week.

Crap. Because of my "oh so wonderful co-workers" I was working a 6 day week with no time to have an interview. I could only do one thing, call in sick. Believe it or not, that actually made me feel sick. I hate lying even for a "good cause", but in this instance I didn't think it could be helped. I HAD to take this interview for so many reasons, and there was no way I was going to be allowed to take 2-3 hours off in the middle of the busiest part of the day. It still makes my gut turn over thinking about it though.

So the day of the interview I call in sick. I have the option of using my baby as the excuse with a "she's sick" routine but God help me I'll never pimp my child like that! So I said that I wasn't feeling well which had more than a grain of truth cause I was nervous as Hell, and I said that I just wouldn't be able to make it which was also true to an extent. I'm generally pretty good at the lying, but the whole duplicity of it all just makes me cringe. So I go to the interview dressed to kill wearing slacks, neatly pressed shirt, a power-tie, shinny watch and fashionable tie-clip. Oh and my shoes, my shoes were buffed and shined!

The interview was a train wreck.

I begun by being very punctual, I showed up minutes before the interview, but I followed this up by having a small panic attack just as I sat down and nothing I said came out steady or confident. In fact I sounded like I was about to start bawling my eyes out. I hadn't done any research on the company, I was all over the place when I was talking about myself, I didn't stand when the lady interviewer (the third person to interview me interrogation style) entered the room a little late, and when I was leaving I think I took a good noticeable glance at her pregnancy amplified cleavage.

AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

Horrible. Simply Horrible.

The next day my headhunter calls me up and asks me how I thought it went. I told him horribly, and he said that was funny because they liked me and wanted me to take the next steps and get a drug test.

Hunh?

How did that happen!?!? So I find out where to take the test and such. I try to take the test that day during lunch, but it takes much too long so I decide to go the next morning. I call headhunter and let him know. The next morning I get to the pee-place early enough but still have to wait over an hour to have this stupid test taken. It gets done. When I leave I notice a message from headhunter telling me that his client wants to even go further now and I should be thinking about turning my notice into my current boss. Wow. Ok.

But the interview was HORRIBLE.

I'm at work after lunch for less than an hour and I get the call. I should turn my notice in immediately so I can start with headhunter's client ASAP. ... ok ... wow.

It doesn't end there.

JUST after I am getting my head around the whole thing the other company I applied with calls and now THEY want to interview me as well. Heh. Heh. Hehehe. Hehehehehehe. I'm fricken going insane! They aren't hiring for another MONTH though. They don't even want to start interviews for a week but for me they'll do it the very next day. WTF?!?! Why am I Mr. Wanted at the moment?!?! I know I fricken rule but COME ON!

I rearrange my schedule to be able to go to the interview in the morning of the next day. I dress just like I did for the other interview but without the tie and tie clip since I KNOW I'm not going to get THIS job. I don't have a panic attack because I know I'm not going to get this job. Hell I wasn't even nervous really. The company I was interviewing with has their logo on a PGA golfer's hat! Besides, I've never done programming outside of school or as a hobby ... aside from what little web work I've done. I was so not getting that job.

They paraded me in front of no less than 4 interviewers on top of the HR lady that originally contacted me. Everything goes as well as can be expected. I knew more about coding than I though I did. I've never gotten a job when the interview went well from my perspective however. They were so not going to call me.

They will offer me something today.

Man. With this kind of week going I think I might enter the lottery.

Ee Ai Ee Ai Ooo

2006-09-12T23:01:00.000-05:00

I usually have to sing to my little girl at nights to get her to go to sleep. I sing three little songs: This Ole Man, ABC's, and Old Mac Donald. Sometimes I try to branch out with a little Row Row Row Your Boat. I tried The Wheels on the Bus but that was such a no-go that one not only got unfavorable reviews but also a bit of an assault as my little one smacked me where the noise was coming. So we went back to the standards.

Well yesterday my darling wife tells me that she was singing to our little one and stopped right before the Ee Ai Ee Ai Oo. Seems that wouldn't do for her so she finished mommy's verse with Ee Ai Ee Ai Ee Ai ooooo :)

How cool is that?!? Fricken cool is how cool! Aw man being a daddy is awesome.

Maybe The Kewlest Gmail Feature EVAR

2006-09-06T22:04:00.000-05:00

Check out this post on the Modern Day Alchemist Blog about plus addressing with Google's Gmail. I cannot fully describe it without basically stealing the entire post so I won't even try. Trust me and check it out. It is really kewl!

What is a Blog?

2006-09-06T21:33:00.000-05:00

So between fiddling around with my own blog incarnations (I've had 3, the previous two were more experiments than anything else) and then joining PayPerPost I've gotten into the mode of thought that asks "what is a blog?" The wiki on blogs suggests that a blog is short for weblog and is more akin to a journal or diary ... but on the web. Well I think my blogs meet the standard of being a real blog in that case since any journal of mine would be just a disjointed and fractured as my blogs .

Having said that I actually think I'm going to start a second blog for my hobby. I won't tell you what my hobby is because you'll just think I'm a huge fricken nerd, which I am. I don't have to confirm that suspicion though without making you do your research first. So there.

My wife has essentially forced me to start writing more. I'll post some of the reasons on my new blog that you probably won't read. Having said that lets just say that I've wanted to write professionally for years but have always thought I'd never make anything from it. Well since I'm to the point where I've done a lot of the stuff that takes you to the point where you start making money and I'm still poor, I figure WTF?!? I might as well start enjoying myself if I'm going to be perpetually poor anyway.

I just hope I can make enough to send my princess to the state college of her choice one day

Happy News for Me

2006-09-02T01:15:00.000-05:00

Well after much goading by my wife, I've submitted myself for the Editor of the Role Playing Games topic on Bella Online. Seems they liked my stuff and accepted me! Yay! Now I just have to start filling in the shoes of the previous Editor. I know this person in a small way as he and I frequent a common forum (www.kenzerco.com/forums) AND he writes for Kenzer's incredibly funny comic Knights of the Dinner Table. Lloyd is awesome. I don't know why he dropped Bella (or why they dropped him) but I'm interested in seeing if my writing can become worthy of following his lead.

We'll see.

Twin Towers Video

2006-09-02T00:53:00.000-05:00

September 3 Discovery Channel will feature a show titled Discovery Channel's "Inside the Twin Towers" where more than 15 survivors detail their experiences. The videos that I've seen include the experiences of several people trapped in an elevator and a port authority officer wondering what he should and shouldn't do. The show seems like it will be very intense. I don't think anyone should forget what happened that day and we need more programming like this, if not to remind us of what happened that day then to remind us of the heroic and enduring nature of the typical American in an untypical situation.

What's Your Pirate Name?

2006-09-01T20:17:00.000-05:00

My pirate name is:

Mad Tom Rackham

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Style ... the literary kind ....

2006-08-31T22:47:00.000-05:00

My last post got me thinking, how do you cite a song title properly? Well my initial research turned up bunk, but then again I usually suck at research. What I did find out is that I should have cited the Journey song in my previous post as Journey. Just the Way. Essential Journey. The reference was taken from the website KnightCite: Citation Maker although I added the italics to the title to differentiate it from the band.

It seems that if I want to get some research right, I just have to start blathering at the mouth about how Google hates me and how this or that won't work for me and then I'll stumble upon exactly what I needed to do in the first place. ARGH! I guess that's just the me that I'll have to come to love.

Just a little FYI and TMI for ya.

Know Web 2.0?

2006-08-30T10:48:00.000-05:00

So do you know what Web 2.0 stands for? I didn't either until about 20 mins ago. I'm still not 100% on top of it because I'm having an ADD moment and can't concentrate anymore. I'll lose that job at the orange juice factory for sure right now. I did find this O'Reilly article on what Web 2.0 stands for. If I weren't so anti wikipedia I'll link to their article too hehehe ... Anyway Web 2.0 seems to be about the evolution of the web from pre-dotcom bubble burst to after. I'll finish reading the MULTIPLE PAGE article later tonight or tomorrow and update if I'm off base.

I urge you to check it out for yourselves though and save me the trouble of regurgitating all that info!

Firefox not so coolness

2006-08-30T09:41:00.000-05:00

First let me say I LOVE FIREFOX! Sure IE 7 is ripping off a lot of Firefox's kewlest features, but Firefox was doing it first AND is more secure. SURE SURE SURE I've heard the stories that the new IE and the Win OS will be super secure, but I've heard that all before. Like everything else Microsoft, I'll wait and see.

That said Firefox isn't perfect. Well more specifically not all of Firefox's extensions are perfect. I've already mentioned in a previous post that I've given up on FireFTP as my FTP client. It was convenient and all but I've now started a new lovefest with SmartFTP again.

Most lately I had installed several web development extensions such as an RSS editor, an HTML Validator, a dumby lipsum generator, and such. Since adding those extensions I have gotten some really odd performance issues with some aspects of browsing. So after last nights fiasco of not being to log in to Blogger and a bad day at work I've uninstalled about half of my installed extensions and I seem to be having a better go of it. We'll see.

So my advice to all is only install extensions one at a time or keep a rather detailed list of what you install when. That will help you backtrack and find possible sources of problems if and when they occur.

I get it now

2006-08-28T21:36:00.000-05:00

When I was younger (read childless) and people would say "You're such a BIG GIRL" to an infant or toddler, I remember thinking "No she isn't. Don't lie to the child". Now I get it. My little one is now edging close to 11 months old. She rocks, and frankly she is getting to be such a BIG GIRL. Of course BIG GIRL is relative, but it is true none the less.

Months ago it seemed like our little one couldn't even crawl. Mind you her crawling now isn't much more than a quick fireman's crawl, but it serves her well. At her nine month checkup our pediatrician said that she should be pulling up soon. She hadn't really been pulling up at all it seemed. She did try to pull up on the doc though so we were all encouraged.

Two days ago though her mother calls me to the little one's bedroom excitedly and when I get there our angel is standing on her knees in the crib. I couldn't help but laugh and giggle. Today she crawls over to her mother and pulls herself up her mother's legs into a fully standing position!

My she's getting to be such the BIG GIRL.

Things that make you go ... WTF?!?

2006-08-27T20:47:00.000-05:00

So when was the last time you were walking down the street and said WTF?!?

Three days ago the wife and I were traveling down the main thorough fare in our local hometown when I had such an event. Lo and behold (for some people actually still speak like that) there I saw a man dressed all in paisley. Now some may say that all paisley isn't a WTF moment but you simply don't understand my situation. Paisley is a dangerous color (texture? fabric? print? .. yes print) ... a dangerous PRINT in my life. Strange and wonderful things happen when paisley is around.

It first happened when I was in college and I had just met the woman that would be my wife. I had just met a talking cow that claimed to be none other than Donald Trump. Well one can say that was terribly strange I would agree whole-heartedly, but those were different times and no I wasn't "on" anything. Instead, I was posting random meaningless stories on a board titled "Bizarro" on what was then the state of the art in internet communications, a BBS or Bulletin Board System. If you don't remember or know what a BBS is (was?) it is a lot like a forum but with much few options and no graphics (typically) to speak of.

So anyway, I had met this divine woman that would be my wife and she had a certain talent, or ability over me. She would utter purely magic words of Wiki Wiki Wiki and SOMETHING would go paisley. I would invariably see the something paisley (in the stories) and something invariably would go wrong. Such was the power of my not soon enough to be wife.

So when one is driving down the main thorough fare of our hometown and see an individual not of the PIMP status wearing nothing but paisley, he or she is bound to think WTF? And such there I was, but having married the radiance that held such immense power over me I was now immune to the horrible side effects of said power. Plus as far as I know she didn't say "Wiki Wiki Wiki".

On an unrelated note, moments after seen such display I was astonished to find that my wallet was empty and I had canceled my game night with the guys. Funny that.

Politics and the Ass

2006-08-20T22:11:00.000-05:00

You are a
Social Conservative
(35% permissive)

and an...
Economic Conservative
(75% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Republican

Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

The only real comments I have about this test are that I think I'm a bit more socially permissive than the chart shows. Granted I'm a strong believer in many social values based in tradition, but when it comes to government's role in those items, I am much more lax. People need to keep their you know whats in their pants, but we don't need gubment dictating morality.

I changed things!

2006-07-15T00:43:00.000-05:00

Here's a quick post to point out to all of you that don't come here that I changed the template to my site. While I liked the old one, I wanted an 'old paper' look to it ... what I ended up with was aged leather. I like it anyway since I did the images. What I am really happy with is how the faded section at the top turned out, again I did that!

So anyway, since I just posted less than an hour or two ago I have nothing real to say.

Peace.

Stuff I've learned on the web version 1.0

2006-07-14T23:30:00.000-05:00

TGS represents The Gamer Sanctuary on Oak Grove Road in Hattiesburg, MS. This is important because I am designing their website (so far that is -- I may piss the owner off yet). I intend to share some of the things I have learned.

1) Do NOT try to make a three column page utilizing the current CSS. You will drive your face into a wall ... unless you have a nifty little JavaScript that someone else wrote. The JavaScript I mention is from Shaun Inman and is located on his site. While I can't say my designs are top grade stellar stuff, I like the look of my current project so far.

2) If you have access to a cPanel, use it despite it's clunky appearance. I've been using FireFTP an extension for Firefox browsers that allows you to upload and download from your sites. I liked it, but I have now come to hate it. Many of my images wouldn't show properly until I utilized my cPanel to upload them. That is very frustrating for one such as I.

3) Lipsum. Sounds like what you do when Jane has two lips and Bobby has two lips, but it isn't about Jane and Bobby at all. No, Lipsum is short for lorem ipsum which are the first two words of a series of gibberish Latin words commonly used in typesetting. People get distracted by words that they can read when used in a mock-up of some printed media. If the designer wants the person examining the mock-up to pay attention to the design and not the content, then something similar to the written language but uncipherable is needed. That is lipsum. A great site for checking out more lipsum is www.lipsum.com. Check it out. They explain the whole thing much better than I ever could, and besides I got my information from them.

4) php is cool, but the manual is cooler. By that phrase I mean that while coding basic php syntax is fun (for a geek like me) having the manual (located online AND downloadable) is so much nicer, especially when you can search the document for anything you need. Having the right functions is a real help. I'm using the php manual found at us3.php.net. A manual is a MUST have!

5) CSS is your friend, and so are php includes and good security sources. Expand your knowledge base with these topics.

Ok that's it for me. I'm sleepy now. Have fun storming the castle and all that.

Peace.

Ups and Downs

2006-06-26T23:46:00.000-05:00

This week is going to be hell. Knowing that this week is going to be hell will actually help though. You know it's like when you are standing with everyone else on a sidewalk and everyone else has muddy feet because it has been raining a little and you look down and see that you are standing in three inches of mud, well that sucks. Why should you have to stand in three inches of mud when everyone else gets by so much less? Then you know that you are going to have to go an extended period of time wading through three feet of mud. Well you prepare for that. Everyone else is still on the sidewalk, but you saw this one coming, you knew it was going to be bad, and so you are prepared. That's me. I know this is going to be hell, that I am going to be exhausted by the end of the week, but I'm prepared.

Now that said, I still hate my job. Today I worked for almost 11 hours not counting my 1 hour lunch. In that time I took one 15 minute break and one ten minute break. Other than that there was only about a 10 minute lapse where I wasn't doing something while standing. I hate standing. For probably a good hour (composite time ... 5 minutes here fifteen minutes there) I was in either of two -40C freezers. That sounds cold because it is. I busted my arse getting things to be nice in the freezers and the back storage area of where I work and nobody will see it. Well of the very few people that might see it, nobody will see it and appreciate it. I had to do it though, because it had to be done. Sad thing is there is still so much more that needs to be done that I can't wrap my brain around it at the moment. I need to get it all done sooner rather than later in the week because around Thursday at noon my brain is going to be mush, my morale is going to be sagging, and my energy non-existent, and I'll still have twenty hours left in the week. GLEE!

I met a friend at Wal-Mart the other day and he mentioned that a local theater might be sans-management very soon. I was all "man I'd love to be a theater manager" and he was all "that dude rakes in the mad cash bra" and I was all like "where the hell did this dialog come from"? but you get the gist of what I'm saying. He knows some people who know some people who robbed some people (Starsky and Hutch (the movie) reference) and he said that if the big bad went down like it was expected to go down he would put a good word in for me as a replacement manager. I'm all like "Hell Yeah!" and then later I'm all like "WTF am I thinking? I hate managing people. People suck. ... but the money sounds nice". I'm such a whore.

That shows me however that I'm a rat ready not to jump ship, but to jump off my current perfectly fine ship onto a flaming barge of hate and that can't be good. What I need to do (metaphorically as a rat still) is to make like Icarus and forge tiny little rat's wings and fly from my perfectly good ship to rat paradise. Learning from the fable I shall avoid flying too high because I'd rather rust than die young.

Non-sequitur: I don't want a pickle. I just want to ride on my motor cycle.

So there I am, still hating work. It's not so bad when you know hell is upon you and you are ready, but I see that I am so going to be fatigued by the end of the week. If I had money I would treat myself to something awesome. Instead I'll just pretend I treated myself to two something awesomes.

Somehow I just don't think it is the same.

I'm spreading this like a venerial disease

2006-06-12T23:38:00.000-05:00

I like monkeys.

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His
name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really
bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new
environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead.
Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn
cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real
bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want
to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change
them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so
it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to
extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor
wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the
bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't
allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet
one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the
frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My
friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like
them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in
the genitals.

I like monkeys

Awesome Opossum

2006-06-05T19:42:00.000-05:00

I don't know if you know it or not, but there is a product on the market that removes chewing gum. While that in and of itself is probably not that surprising, HOW the product removes the gum is (at least to me).

Utilizing a product such as the one seen in this picture, I was able to remove a gummy substance from a cabinet by FREEZING IT OFF! Fricken A! That was the coolest thing I've seen in ... weeks. The vapor that comes out of the nozzle is cold. Well that's not too surprising except it is COLD cold. Spray your gummy item with a few short bursts of this stuff and chip the gum away. How cool is that?! It's awesome opossum cool, that's how cool it is.

Anyway that's the highlight of my life (outside of the standard highlights of life, love and family that is).

Peace.

Thoughts from the dusty attic of my mind

2006-06-04T23:05:00.000-05:00

My dingaling ... won't you play with my dingaling ...
Man that's a funny song ... So I haven't updated in a while other than the what color green am I thing that I used to do a lot. You know one of the things I hate about those quizzes is that they only last as long as the person wants to support the quiz. After he or she gets tired of using that bandwidth, the quiz and pictures are removed from the site or the site is removed all together and your cool little quiz link thing is a hole in the internet that all of creation can be drawn into ... like a black hole in space ... except instead of light not being able to escape, holes in the internet suck all cool from their surroundings. Even Jazz cannot escape! That's powerful mojo that we must all fight on a primal level. ... That doesn't really make any sense.

So how are you all doing? This week's accomplishments include not quitting my job!, getting a job designing a web site for a local gaming store!, fixing the Paladin specialty on my Legend of the Green Dragon site!, and doing some minor maintenance for my local Knights of Columbus charter. I'm NOT going to post the link to that website because I haven't done anything in a while to it and I'm very embarrassed. I have some pretty big plans in store for the site, but I still lack 100% knowledge on how to do it. That's part of biggest character flaw I think, not doing something until I'm sure I can do it 100%. Being a stupid perfectionist sucks royal ass let me tell you! Fricken frick!

Update! I still suck at Halo 2! but not nearly as bad as my friends that have never played before!

Wow I don't have much to say tonight. I really thought I could get something interesting out of just typing randomly but part monkey I seem to be not.

What Green Color Are You?

2006-05-30T23:09:00.000-05:00

You Are Olive Green

You are the most real of all the green shades. You're always true to yourself.
For you, authenticity and honesty are very important... both in others and yourself.
You are grounded and secure. It takes a lot to shake you.
People see you as dependable, probably the most dependable person they know.

What Color Green Are You?

2006-05-11T01:37:00.000-05:00

Joe and Monkey

Joe and Monkey is a cute web comic that I was turned onto by Player vs Player web comic creator, Scott Kurtz. He told me to go read it, not personally cause he and I have never met. I doubt that I could pick him out in a line up, and I doubt that he knows I exist. No make that I'm sure that he doesn't know that I exist. Truth be known, he simply posted "GO HERE" on his web site, and like the drone I are, I did.

Joe and Monkey is good though. It took a few days worth of comics to get rolling, but it has this quirky cool look and humor to it that I like. Plus it has a guy named Joe and a monkey. Both are things I think are cool. Twice I've almost stolen a pic to turn into an avatar, and I'm only 20 comics in or so.

So go read the damn thing and tell other people about it. Joe and Monkey, that's good readin'.

2006-05-05T23:48:00.000-05:00

How Cool is This?

I've been linked! moonshadow’s coffee corner Ok so I know I'm not the first ... hell I'm probably not even the millionth to be linked, but this is the first time I know I've been linked by someone I don't know in person. And just remember, I TOLD YOU my Legend of the Green Dragon Site was cool! :-P

H0ot!!

My day is made. Not just because I've been linked, but because something I've done has been appreciated by others, THAT's the real coolness. OK, so I didn't write the code or anything, but still. Maybe my php game will get someone to link me one day ... not that I've written it yet or anything ... I'm still a novice's novice with php and mySQL ... soon though ... very soon.

:D

Ok ... go have your dreary little lives again. I know tomorrow will be pretty dreary for me. Blech.

Speaking of Bleach ... if you haven't done so already (what are you insane?) check out the Bleach Manga. Ok so this is a "bigger bigger" type of manga but it's still damn cool.

Ok ... back to your less than as dreary as they were before I turned you onto Bleach lives. :D

2006-05-02T22:44:00.000-05:00

I Hate My Job

I do. If I were wise, I would finish my senior project and get a real job. I'll illustrate my pain if possible.

For the past 6 weeks or so I've worked 80% or more closing shifts. I don't like to close, but I have to since the other people who are skilled in the area are doing things like taking classes that force them to be unavailable for closing shifts or working other jobs, never mind that company policy forbids any outside of work involvement that would preclude you from working at the company. Yeah it is a bit strange that they encourage people to continue classes but then tell you that you can't do anything that gets in the way of work. Whatever.

So finally I have a week of NO CLOSES! Woo Hoo!!! I get to wake up with real people, have lunch at a real lunch hour, and come home and have a real evening with the wife and baby. Wow, life is great.

Well that lasted for less than one hour into my actual work week. The closer for the day called in sick (yeah right), and I was left not only opening but closing too. That's a 12 hour work day. Luckily I got a long lunch so it's only a 10 hour work day. Then later I find out that I'll have to do that two more times this week. (OK so maybe I'm off base here. I was told I'd have to close two more nights, and since my days are going to be frelled anyway I opted to just repeat what I had done today). ANYWAY I'm now down to 2 non-closing shifts regardless.

My supervisor is all "boo-hoo" I hate being the bad guy. I believe her, mostly. Where I find myself doubting is in some of the nuances that I can't quite put into words. I kind of think that management likes to push things off on me because then know I'll bend over and take it. My supervisor might "hate being the bad guy" but at the same time it's a hell of a lot better for her and her boss than doing anything else ... so hate really isn't the right world.

My general manager I trust even less. I have the feeling that her motto is "if it causes me duress, I don't want to deal with it". Sure I can understand that ... to a degree. Here are some things I believe cause her duress: spending five minutes on a project for me so that I can save several hours of work otherwise, disciplining her staff when appropriate, telling the problem workers "no" for anything under the sun, and of course coming out of her office for more than ten minutes to help with anything (you see she's busy).

There are some things she loves to do, such as: making fun of you in a way that she tries to pass off as "just teasing" but actually comes across as "just teasing but not really", telling me how much she is disappointed by people who are not me and blaming me for it (Did I mention that I applied for a supervisory position and was not accepted? Now I'm not bitter. The people who were picked for the two positions are good workers and potentially really good supervisors. Plus I didn't know if I really wanted the job. I would have to work more closely with my GM and that wasn't really something I was "jonesing on" if you get me. But come on, if I'm not good enough to be someone's supervisor then don't treat me like I'm supposed to frelling be their supervisor! Especially when they have worked for the company longer and make more fricken money than me. Geesh, do YOUR job and keep me out of the loop like I'm paid. That is all I am saying), and giving her work to others during the day and at the end of the day so she can get out of the building as fast as possible. Sure she's all "I'm by the book and I want all my staff to be by the book too," but what she's really saying is "When someone asks, I and my staff are by the book, but when no one is looking I'll bend the rules so far they make a circle and I don't really care if someone breaks a few rules as long as things are comfy for me in my office and I go home quickly".

So after the whole car repair fiasco, we've had to reschedule the infant's baptism. That will be in three weeks. I have requested two days off, the Saturday before and the Monday after because I would like a nice long weekend to celebrate. What I will be offered IF I end up getting any time off is "How about we make those days your normal days off and that way you get to keep your vacation time"? I know it will happen. I am planning on it in fact. I have two basic ideas how this will go down.

--- Idea #1 ---
Super: How about we make those days your normal days off and that way you get to keep your vacation time?
Me: Actually I would like to use my vacation time. That way I'm not worn out after all the driving and such.
Super: Well I don't see how we can do that, I simply don't have anyone to cover you those days. Person x has job y, and person z has classes.
Me: Not my problem to figure out. (Actually I try not to be this crass, but my evil inner joy shouts these things!)
Super: Then we'll see you Monday. Be thankful you get Saturday off. On the up side you still get to keep those vacation days!
Me: *mumbling* Like they fricken count for anything

--- Idea #2 ---
Super: How about we make those days your normal days off and that way you get to keep your vacation time?
Me: Actually I would like to use my vacation time. That way I'm not worn out after all the driving and such.
Super: Well I don't see how we can do that, I simply don't have anyone to cover you those days. Person x has job y, and person z has classes.
Me: Oh ... well then I quit.
Super: Shucks.
Bad Coworker x: I quit too.
GM: Oh we can't let Bad Coworker x quit! Her have another $1.50 an hour raise. Niassne can bite me though since we were counting on him.
Me: Tomorrow I'm coming back with an axe. (I was thinking I would go with an Uzi but really, who has an Uzi? So an axe is a LOT more believable. PLUS with an axe I can let my anxiety take over and destroy a bunch of stuff but still have that "I'm going to hurt you if you get in my way" mystique going. In truth I'd never actually harm anyone ... break stuff ... sure I could see that. Stuff can be replaced ... hurt someone? NO! I could not live with myself if I did that.)

Idea #1 is has a 99% chance of occurring, Idea #2 (minus the axe bit) a .95% chance, Idea #2 (with axe) a .045% chance, Idea #2 (with UZI! (Who knows what one might find on the streets of middle-of-nowhere Deep South?)) a .004% chance, and rounding out the category Actually Getting the Vacation Time Off at .001% chance. Yes, that's right, me finding and using an Uzi to display my displeasure is FOUR times more likely to occur than me getting vacation time off. Phew.

I have only brushed the surface of why I hate my job too. I didn't mention how the GM thinks that if I tell my super that I really would like a little praise in what I do that doesn't mean I want her to tell me how great it is that I got one of my friends to come to the store in a way that drips with honey and sweetness. Sorry. #1 I don't go for that kind of praise and #2 that's not for what I frelling want praise! Ungh.

Somebody hit me with a bat ... Whiffle bat though please!

2006-05-01T14:57:00.000-05:00

Anxiety and the Art of Automobile Repair

Ok, so those that know me know I have anxiety, some form I haven't been to the doctor yet so that's about all I know. I've gotten a self-help books and that has really helped, but there are a few things that get under my skin and bring my anxiety to a boiling point. One of those things is automobile repair.

Three weeks ago on Easter Sunday, my wife, daughter and I are traveling back from the in-laws' place where much Easter Sundayness was had. Vast amounts of nasty water erupted from under the hood to spray my windshield. Quickly I pulled over and cut power to the motor. Lifting the hood told me nothing. So we call the wife's dad who comes with his trailer and carries us to his house where we are provided a "loaner" vehicle.

The next day we return to survey the possible damages. Nothing was obvious but one thing was for sure, the engine was devoid of coolant. Well for the volume and speed at which the liquid escaped the engine, the radiator seemed to be the most likely suspect. I feared that greatly. Would I be able to do that level of repair? Anxiety said "Hell no loser". I wanted to agree.

So I start filling up the radiator when I notice that above the crankshaft pulley, something was leaking and leaking pretty quickly. The leak was from a weep hole in the water pump. "Great!" I thought to myself, "A water pump I've replaced before. I know I can do that. Plus, the cost will be less! Woot!"

During the course of the week following, I purchase a water pump and thermostat (which had never been replaced). For good measure I purchase new hoses and belts for the car too as it has been over 100,000 miles since they have been replaced (with the hoses never being replaced over the course of the 233,000 miles on the car). Cost for everything was about $100, not too shabby.

Well I don't know if you know this, I certainly didn't, but the water pump on a 1997 Nissan Sentra is in a very difficult location initially. Also, the thermostat is not at the engine side end of the upper radiator hose either! So not knowing where to begin, I returned to Autozone to purchase a Haynes Repair Manual for my vehicle. Guess what. The thermostat is located in a housing just behind the water pump. Riiiight.

Ok I start easy and remove the hoses and belts. Well the belts were not exactly easy since the water pump belt adjustment was hard to reach, plus the damn thing was stuck. Then the repair manual talks in generalities. For instance one step says disconnect all hoses from the thermostat housing and unbolt the water pump and remove the two pieces together as one unit. What it doesn't tell you is that you have to have infant sized hands to reach behind the damned thing to pull the hoses apart, not to mention the fact that tools will not fit back there either! Bastards.

Well needless to say my endeavors with the water pump and thermostat were difficult. So difficult that at one point my anxiety was so high that all I could think of doing was pulling my socket wrench out and throwing it as far as I could. Luckily, my hands and tools were completely stuck in the confines of the engine compartment that my rage was sated before I could expedite my hands.

It took me close to 4 hours to remove all components that day. The next day it took me close to 5 hours to put everything back. I'm getting anxious just thinking about THAT ordeal.

So now I have everything in place. I fill the old girl up with water and the water pump doesn't leak. Woo hoo! I crank her up. She comes up to temp. Water pours out of a corner of the radiator.

Turns out I WILL have to replace the radiator, but my weekend is shot so things had to wait until next weekend. Oh but wait there's more. The next weekend was to be the daughter's baptism! Joy. I have one out there. If I was to get a day off of work, I do could the vehicle repairs and the baptism would not need to be rescheduled. Did I mention that I work for the Devil herself? Yeah that didn't happen. So this weekend I pony up the $180 for a new radiator only to find that not only is it easier to replace (it took 30 min tops to remove and the same to put back on), but I only had to use two tools. Heck it was so easy to replace that when I initially thought I had the wrong part I drove from the inlaws to my hometown (where I purchased the part) and back wasting a good hour and a half and STILL had time to replace the part, get a test drive, figure out what was going wrong NOW (I shouldn't have washed the engine ... go figure), go to the local Autozone to pick up new plugs and distributor cap ($30 total), and get the car running.

Oh, did I mention there was still a vibration when driving that turned out to be a busted belt on one of the back tires? I'm just going to give up now.

See you in a while ... a good long while.

2006-04-24T01:51:00.000-05:00

My Legend of the Green Dragon site is cool. I'm not just saying that because it's mine ... well ok ... maybe I am. Several people have started playing Yah! but I added a module that ... doesn't work like I thought it might. So things have been rocky the last couple of days, especially since I was unable to get onto the computer since I had to do a BUTT LOAD of car repairs ... ok butt load might be exaggerating, but I hate working on the car at all.

The current weekend yield in auto repairs is: 1 water pump replaced, 1 thermostat replaced (in a very inconvenient place I might add), 2 hoses replaced, 2 belts replaced, 1 piece taken off in error and put back on correctly (I hope), and 8 hours doing it. I suck at working on cars. OOOOooooh good news. Now the Check Engine light is comes on! Good for me! Plus there's that little thing of I still have to replace the radiator.

Did I mention Raegan's baptism was supposed to be next weekend?!?! AGHG!

Then I come home to the game site being frelled and instead of bringing me joy it's a chore ... ok a chore that's a joy too. I like it when people are having fun.

This is all really driving me to learn more php/sql so I can mod the mods to the way I want them to work. Oh well, put that in the queue.

2006-04-15T01:26:00.000-05:00

I'm really tired and I have to work tomorrow. That's what I call a bad combination.

So I've done myself wrong by staying awake when I should be sleeping, but I JUST HAD TO DO a few things which required a few more things which ... well you get it.

Anyway, I've added two new boards to my forum, one I really just modified an old board for my Legend of the Green Dragon game and the other is for a new RPG that a friend is starting. Then on top of that I had to make a new banner for the new new one. Then I played around with the CSS and template associated with the enter forum but couldn't get that to work at the moment. Finally I had to blog. I don't know why I just had to. It's not like anyone is reading this right? Pheh. That's what I thought.

Peace and good night.

2006-04-11T00:26:00.000-05:00

Ask A Ninja: Question 18 "Minjas": "Brad asks the Ninja if there are midget ninjas. Plus special bonus question from Mike about Snakes on a Plane!

This is fricken brilliant. I have to say thanks to RatBastard over at the KenzerCo forums for finding this gem and introducing it to me.

2006-04-07T03:03:00.000-05:00

Blam! Blam! Blam Blam Blam Blam! ... click ... click ... click ...

Crap.

2006-03-30T21:47:00.000-06:00

450 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG
1. Cannot base characters off the Who's drummer Keith Moon.
2. A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument.
3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery.
4. My 7th Sea character Boudreaux is not 'Southern' Montaigne.
5. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills.
6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.
7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.
8. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook.
9. My monk's lips must be in sync.
10. Just because my character and I can speak German, doesn't mean the GM can.
11. Not allowed to berserk for the hell of it, especially during royal masquerades.
12. Must learn at least one offensive or defensive spell if I'm the sorcerer.
13. Must not murder canon NPCs in their sleep, no matter how cliche they are.
14. Ogres are not kosher.
15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A.
16. I will not beat Tomb of Horrors in less than 10 minutes from memory.
17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero.
18. When surrendering I am to hand the sword over HILT first.
19. Drow are not good eating.
20. Polka is not appropriate marching music.
21. No longer allowed to recreate the Death Star Trench Run out of genre.
22. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino.
23. Any character who has a sensitivity training center named after him will be taken away.
24. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales.
25. The green elf does not need food badly.
26. Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the paladin.
27. I am not to shoot every corpse in the head to make sure they aren't a zombie in Twilight 2000.
28. The Goddess' of Marriage chosen weapon is not the whip.
29. I cannot have any gun that requires me to continue the damage code on back.
30. I am not to kill off all the vampires in the LARP, even if they are terminally stupid.
31. The backup trap handler is not whoever has the most HP at the time.
32. I cannot buy any animal in groups of 100 or over.
33. There is no such skill as 'improvised cooking'
34. I am not allowed to base any Droid off any character played by Joe Pesci.
35. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to play R2 units.
36. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to sit on the same side of the table.
37. They do not make black market illegal cyberweapons for rodents.
38. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepit mansion from the outside.
39. Gnomes do not have the racial ability 'can lick their eyebrows'
40. Gnomes do not have the racial ability to hold their breath for 10 minutes.
41. Gnomes do not have the racial ability 'impromptu kickstand'
42. Having a big nose adds nothing to my seduction check.
43. No longer allowed to set nazi propaganda music to a snappy disco beat.
44. Not allowed to spend all 100 character points on 100 1pt skills.
45. My character names are not allowed to be double entendres.
46. Sliver rhymes with silver because the computer frelling says so.
47. They do not make Nair in wookie sizes.
48. The elf is restricted to decaf for the rest of the adventure.
49. Not allowed to blow up the Death Star before that snotty farm kid gets his shot.
50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instead of exploring it first.
51. No longer allowed to use the time machine for booty calls.
52. My bard does not know how to play Inna Godda Davida on marachas.
53. Not allowed to start a drow character weighing more than a quarter ton.
54. Cannot pimp out other party members.
55. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf.
56. No matter how well I roll, a squirrel cannot carry a horse and rider at full sprint.
57. In the middle of a black op I cannot ask a guard to validate parking.
58. Expended ammunition is not a business expense.
59. Not allowed to pose the Netrunner in embarrassing positions when he's on a run.
60. Not allowed to short sheet the bedroll of impotent deities.
61. Can only taunt the ranger about his lack of swimming after my USCG E8 saves him.
62. I am not allowed to do anything I saw Han Solo do once.
63. No, I cannot buy 10,000 marbles even if I say please.
64. My paladin's battle cry is not "Good for the Good God"
65. There is no Summon Bimbo spell.
66. Not allowed to start a character that speaks every language except ones the party speaks.
67. There is no Kung Fu manuever "McGuire Swings For Bleachers"
68. Bring him back intact includes redundant organs.
69. There is more to wizardry than magic missile. Even if I can do 200 damage automatic with no save.
70. Not allowed to cook up nerve gas in the sink even if the target number is 5.
71. There is no 'annoy' setting on a phasor
72. Not allowed to start a character who is over 100 years old unless he's an elf or dwarf. Humans are right out.
73. Not allowed to name my cudgel Ceremonial Whoopass Stick.
74. My thief's battle cry is not "Run And Live"
75. Nor is it "You take care of the orcs, I take care of the traps"
76. I am not allowed any artistic license while translating.
77. I did not get my super powers from James T. Kirk.
78. Not allowed to commission a pistol that costs more than a sedan.
79. I am not liquid metal.
80. When accepting a challenge for a duel, I must allow the other guy time to find a pistol.
81. A picture of my ex-wife is not an acceptable backup weapon.
82. Victory laps after killing the dragon with my 1d2 bow is considered in poor taste.
83. My gnome does not like big butts and he cannot lie.
84. Not allowed to talk my fellow inquisitors into buying a 220lb pull crossbow.
85. Not allowed to talk my fellow inquisitors into buying an industrial strength flamethrower.
86. Not allowed to make a superhero with a 99% chance of dodging even after the -10 penalty for a successful called shot.
87. There is no such thing as a dwarven katana.
88. My bard does not get a bonus to perform if she is obviously not wearing anything under her tabard.
89. The elf's name is not Legolam.
90. My swashbuckling fop cannot take the flaw Dark Secret: Not Gay
91. A wet towel does not constitute an improvised weapon.
92. The name of the weapon shop is not "Bloodbath and Beyond"
93. I am to remind my DM that he must never, ever give my paladin a dire boar for a mount again.
94. I cannot base my ancient kung fu master on neither Gene Simmons or Bluto Blutarski.
95. I must not put the Thunder God on the spot again.
96. No making up polearms.
97. My one wish cannot be 'I wish everything on this piece of paper was true'
98. There is no such thing as Speed Polka.
99. Not allowed to see if Jedi can parry a shotgun blast with their lightsaber.
100. When any character from a d20 sourcebook is allowed, that doesn't include System Lords.
101. I am not allowed to pave ANYTHING.
102. I am not authorized to start any civil engineering project on the taxpayer's dime.
103. There is no such thing as a Club 3 of Cup Checks
104. Nor is there a 1 Longsword, 5 against party members.
105. I am not allowed to polymorph anyone into Abe Vigoda.
106. I do not have weapon proficiency in cat.
107. There is no such game as Wereshark the Buffet.
108. No, I do not get XP for every single crewman on that Star Destroyer.
109. Not allowed to kill a vampire with any part from a DC-10 larger than my car.
110. Not allowed to serenade the party even if my character has an internal tape deck.
111. I did not pick the garrote skill last week from my grandmother.
112. If the gun can't fit through the x-ray machine, it doesn't go on the plane.
113. My Droid is not allowed to paraphrase any Jack Nicholson soliloquy.
114. The Demilich only falls for getting stuffed in the bag of holding once.
115. My musical instrument does not double as a personal flotation device.
116. Not allowed to take a coffee break during the final super villain showdown.
117. I am restricted to memorizing Floating Disc only once per day.
118. I will pick a more traditional paladin weapon instead of a sledgehammer.
119. My character's names cannot be anagrams of playboy playmates.
120. Not allowed to kill another party member with a boomerang again.
121. I am not a contractor for Dragon Cave Cleaning Services Inc.
122. The paladin's alignment is not Lawful Anal.
123. Not allowed to forget to mention traps when the powergamer has point.
124. I cannot insert the words "Kill Phil, Sorry Phil" into any list of instructions.
125. Lingerie can only snap coincidentally so many times per day.
126. Dwarves do not count as burrowing animals.
127. Not allowed to download AOL 6.0 on the Arasaka mainframe.
128. Polka Gnomes exist only in my mind.
129. Not allowed to name my ship The Antidisestablishmentarianism.
130. I am not authorized to form the head.
131. Not allowed to bet how many times the lich bounces.
132. There is no such feat called "Death Blossom"
133. My acrobat cannot balance on the warlord's head for more than one round.
134. The King's Guards official name is not "The Royal Order of the Red Shirt"
135. I cannot demand payment in electrum, backrubs or bubblewrap.
136. I cannot start the 7th Sea campaign with 3 confirmed Drachen kills.
137. I do not have a scorching case of lycanthropy.
138. If the mere thought of it costs the others sanity, I'm forbidden from doing it.
139. My bard is required to take levels in the perform skill and cannot 'just play by ear'
140. The Dutch language does not exist in the Forgotten Realms.
141. My maid does not know kung fu.
142. Not allowed to give a 4 year old a sugar rush just to jack up the CR later.
143. Not allowed to by a holy symbol for every god just in case one of them is right.
144. There is no such thing as pleather armor.
145. I cannot go back in time to cut in line at the Declaration of Independence so everybody now is asked for their Terrence E. Woczinski when signing documents.
146. Not allowed to play an Australian in any game set before 1600.
147. Hobbits are not allowed to have Norse ancestry.
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
149. Looting the unguarded baggage train is not considered a glorious victory.
150. Not allowed to create recreational drugs in suppository format.
151. Halflings do not have a racial proficiency with the flamethrower.
152. When the guy is at -9 HP is not the best time for my cleric to convert him.
153. I will not propose to every noblewoman at the royal ball until I crit my charisma check.
154. I am not allowed to rub the monk's head for luck.
155. I am not allowed to rub any part of the elf chick for any reason.
156. When one person forgets to buy rations eating the half-elf is not our first option.
157. Any capital scale weapon is not 'my little friend'.
158. I will not declare myself a god just so I can grant myself spells.
159. Airlocks do not double as trash disposals.
160. I will not load any gatling weapon with nothing but paint rounds.
161. I will not nail every single female party member except for the elf chick played by that creepy guy.
162. What ever monster we just killed is not to be tonight's dinner.
163. Not allowed to try and make a dire version of any dog of the toy breeds.
164. I am not to tattle to the halfling assassin's mom about his career choice.
165. I am forbidden from replacing anything with folger's crystals to see if they notice.
166. Not allowed to bribe the enemy commander into withdrawing with a stolen Elvis LP collection.
167. I was not recruited by Star League for any reason.
168. I was also not recruited by 12 dwarves and a wizard to rob a dragon.
169. I am neither the pagan god nor goddess of fertility.
170. I cannot name my character Xagyg or any anagram thereof.
171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
172. At no point can I justify spending force points on a seduction check.
173. I am not allowed to recreate Veers' March of the AT-ATs on Zhentil Keep.
174. There is no use of Shatner's spoken word album that doesn't require a humanity check.
175. I am not directly descended from either Huey Lewis or any member of the News.
176. I cannot make called shots to the plectrum, anvil, stirrup, hammer or Isle of Langerhans.
177. Stinking cloud is a privilege, not a right.
178. There are no profanities in Celestial.
179. Chummer means he is my friend, not that sharks find him tasty.
180. I have neither the touch nor the power.
181. I cannot quote Shakespeare in Crinos.
182. No figuring out the plot and killing the actual villain five minutes into the adventure.
183. There are no rules for cooking corn dogs in any d20 supplement.
184. A starting character has no need for 100gp worth of hemp rope.
185. My bard does not need roadies for a dungeon crawl.
186. No cutting line to be a god.
187. I cannot gain more than three drama die per session for making the GM pee.
188. I cannot play a elf with a scottish accent, nor a cajun dwarf.
189. Tourretes is not a flaw, it is a reason to kill the character at creation.
190. Duel wielding small animals is strictly forbidden.
191. My character is not related in anyway to Boba Fett. This goes double for Star Wars characters.
192. If the gun is best fired using the artillery skill, my character is not allowed to have it.
193. Not allowed to kill vampires with seismic charges.
194. When the other guy picks swords for the choice of weapons, that does not leave me pistols.
195. I cannot use a silent feat enabled power word stun and blame it on the dog.
196. I cannot name a character anything that I can't say politely in another country.
197. My epic level character cannot take on the minor goblin menace to his country just to stay sharp.
198. Not allowed to steal my own soul.
199. My third wish cannot be 'I wish you wouldn't grant this wish'
200. I cannot name my character cliche canon characters from other systems.
201. My thief is prohibited from speaking solely in Cant.
202. Character descriptions cannot contain two of the following words: Slavic, Tonedeaf, Karaoke, Musician.
203. My superhero's strength is not classified as snazzy, neato or bodacious.
204. I am not too sexy for the elf, too sexy for the elf, so sexy myself.
205. My 3rd ed. Red Wizard is not allowed to start a business named Thay Co.
206. I cannot forge a 1 sword of Brad's Min/Maxed Paladin/Monk Slaying.
207. The following weapons are not legal choices in a duel: Steamroller, Nerve Gas, Landmine, Midget.
208. I cannot whine about the crappy selection of magical bec de corbins.
209. My Paladin's heraldry is not a smiley face.
210. My Antipaladin's heraldry is not Mr. Yuk.
211. If at any point if my dwarf takes on the mannerisms of Macho Man Randy Savage, he dies.
212. If the party always starts the adventure in a tavern, I cannot opt to start in a brothel.
213. I am not the patron saint of common sense.
214. There is no prestige class Drizzt Slayer.
215. They do not make heavy weapons in pump action.
216. There is an upper limit to the number of Bozo boostergangers I can get in a Volkswagon.
217. If the weapon is capable of staking vampires hiding behind engine blocks, I can't have it.
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
219. In formal introductions to royalty, I must not introduce my companions as just "The Other Guys".
220. I am not the master of the low blow or the gang up.
221. If I get that Yugo up to 120mph again, that's gonna get some paradox.
222. Druids are not against my religion.
223. I cannot convince the Solo he has a cortex bomb when he really doesn't.
224. I cannot insinuate elf chicks are all easy, even though you never hear about a half gnome do you?
225. I am forbidden from monologuing.
226. Troll bubblegum...bad idea.
227. My last wish cannot be "I wish we were playing another game."
228. I cannot use my time machine to hire Hitler a hooker in 1920, thus avoiding WW2.
229. Not allowed to spontaneously check if the elf can take a punch.
230. There is no such thing as monofilament tooth floss.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
232. It is not possible to recreate any scene from Dr. Who in Crinos.
233. If I am the medtech it is generally assumed I am going to have skill in medicine.
234. My character does not get d34 HP a level.
235. My Samedi is required to have dots in obfuscate. Plural, as in more than one, two more than none.
236. My character has no need for 24,000 cartons of cigarettes, especially in his neighbor's garage.
237. Not allowed to use more than 3 words per game that the GM has to look up the definition.
238. My bard cannot play or has ever heard of the theremin, didgeridoo or glass armonica.
239. My rockerboy cannot play or has ever heard of the theremin, didgeridoo or glass armonica.
240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.
241. Cannot use the jedi mind trick to get out of a speeding ticket.
242. Not allowed to give quicklings Mountain Dew.
243. Cannot cast haste on the king during a long winded speech to get him to hurry the hell up.
244. Not allowed to taunt the rest of the party in 8 different languages because they forgot to take any.
245. Not allowed to attend any opera whose name the GM confuses with a strip joint.
246. I cannot keep selling that creepy guy's always naked elf chick to nomads every chance I get.
247. If the king rewards me with a forest, I am to assume he intends for me to keep it a forest.
248. There is no Halfling god of groin shots.
249. If a black op requires me to impersonate an employee, I cannot bill the target for overtime.
250. Superfluous Man is not a viable superhero concept.
251. I am not the Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy of Gundam Wing Z.
252. I can not order the Druid to transform and roll out.
253. If the other party members forget to take any food prep skills, not allowed to let them starve to death.
254. I cannot blow 5 paradox in: A police line up, the candy aisle of Krogers, the Miss America Pageant.
255. I cannot create a superhero that can palm the moon.
256. The following cleric domains do not exist: Wet T-Shirts, Atheism, Keggers
257. I cannot wish nobody else gets wishes.
258. There is no such thing as Skyclad Armor 5
259. My Highlander's name cannot be McHammer.
260. Gnomes do not have a racial bonus in bobsled.
261. The Barbarian's name does not translate into "Screams like little sissy girl" in my language.
262. When the GM forces the plot, I cannot make choo-choo noises.
263. Not allowed to attempt to kill the Hutt by pouring salt on him.
264. I cannot use the time machine to go to Ancient Greece where all the women were leather clad, oiled down with big bosoms.
265. It assumed my mechwarrior knows at least what one of the buttons in his cockpit does.
266. At the end of a black-ops, I cannot crank call C-SWAT on the target's phone.
267. I cannot yell "FREEBIRD" every time the bard makes a perform roll.
268. Mr. Welch is not allowed to speak in 3rd person.
269. My character cannot hear the soundtrack.
270. I cannot derail the adventure for a two hour in character discussion on the qualities of rope.
271. Tracheotomies are best left to characters with skills in medicine.
272. No skill allows specializing in defenestration.
273. No matter how smart I make my animal companion, he still can't take the tax accountant skill.
274. I cannot commune with the Gods during peak hours.
275. I must remember at dinner time Rock is not a dwarven delicacy.
276. I must remember at dinner time Log is not an elven delicacy.
277. My half-ogre cannot surprise the halflings with spontaneous games of dodgeball.
278. Anything the DM has to ponder the full impact of for more than a minute is forbidden.
279. I cannot base any elf off of any British Prime Minister.
280. Thermonuclear hand grenades do not exist in any genre except Paranoia.
281. I cannot get emotionally attached to any generic nondescript unnamed NPC.
282. Even if laughter is the best medicine, it still doesn't restore any of my HP.
283. I have been assured with total certainty Ralph is not a Japanese name.
284. When the CO asks for volunteers, I can't help others make a decision.
285. I am not from Margaritaville, and even if I was, that doesn't excuse the hawaiian shirt and lawn chair during the dress inspection.
286. No character of mine can start with 400 previous convictions for any misdemeanor.
287. When asked for advice before a fight "Don't wet yourself in public" is not what they were looking for.
288. I cannot name my character after another PC already in this game.
289. My character does not have the flaw Addiction: Helium.
290. I cannot figure that the dungeon we're in is the Pac-Man maze and point it out to the rest of the party.
291. I cannot form a huddle to discuss strategy before facing the final monster in the dungeon.
292. I cannot take all the monsters I've killed to the taxidermist after the adventure.
293. Clowns shoes have no place in a dungeon crawl.
294. My dwarf is not claustrophobic, likewise, my elf is not agoraphobic.
295. When my enemy blinks does not give me an attack of opportunity.
296. I cannot make called shots with a crew served weapon.
297. I cannot hand out artillery flares to the bad guys on New Years and tell them they are roman candles.
298. Sprechen Sie Bang-Bang? is not real German.
299. I do not get any XP for anyone I kill by stampeding sheep.
300. I cannot give the rebel operatives the codenames Luke, Han, Chewie or Yoda.
301. "Well Hung" is not a physical, social or mental trait.
302. A gimp suit does not count as leather armor.
303. I cannot gradually describe my character more and more until it's obvious I'm describing Burt Reynolds.
304. My life long nemesis is not allowed to be the unsuspecting cleric sitting across the table from me.
305. Anything my character does that ends up as errata I am retroactively prohibited from doing.
306. Chaotic Evil dieties do not have hymnals.
307. Even if he can use them from the start, my barbarian can't specialize in fencing weapons.
308. A Mao suit is not proper garb for my shugenja.
309. I cannot cast invisibility on random household items like car keys, tea sets and bear traps.
310. I cannot spend all my points on just followers.
311. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot start the game as pope.
312. I am not the son, father, husband, exroommate, former professor or retired garbageman of the villain.
313. My British Superspy does not get a reroll on his seduction check if his shirt gets ripped off.
314. Under 'Religion' I cannot put 'Xenu'.
315. My gnome cannot save point on the ride skill simply by asking for piggyback rides everywhere.
316. My character is not allowed to commit suicide five minutes into the campaign.
317. My battlecry is not 'Now young Skywalker you will die'.
318. Vampiric cows are not the fast food innovation of the future.
319. My character does not have the flaw: Dark Secret- I'm Kilroy.
320. The Sultan does not want a treasure bath.
321. The monk's official title is Brother of the Lotus Path. Not the Slap Happy Jappy.
322. My bard knows more songs than just "I Saw Your Mommy"
323. I cannot start the game with a highly contagious deadly disease.
324. I cannot start the game pregnant.
325. Even if he was a paragon of humanity in his alternate dimension, Good Hitler is not an appropriate superhero concept.
326. Cannot accumulate 200 points of flaws for Hackmaster.
327. I am not allowed to decide which one of us is the Chosen One.
328. I cannot keep my phaser on disintegrate just because it's the coolest setting.
329. Not allowed to spoil the plot by simply removing the hinges on the door.
330. The Halfling Paladin does not represent the Lollipop Guild.
331. I cannot invoke Consecrate Weapon on a Man of War
332. I cannot spend character points to buy imaginary friends.
333. I cannot fistinate anybody, whatever the hell that means.
334. Pinball is not a specialization for wizards.
335. When installing cyberware, can't install the Clapper as a built in feature.
336. Cannot start a Cthuhlu character with a pre-existing hatred of books, altars and cutlery.
337. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot control 20,000 pigeons and use them as flying piranha.
338. Any character named El Robotico Jiraffe de Fuego is begging to be vetoed.
339. Can't avoid going on an epic quest with the excuse "Can't find a sitter"
340. I cannot start the game married to another PC without their consent.
341. Not allowed to declare myself a free agent and take offer from other adventuring parties.
342. After the first adventure I cannot write a tell all book about the party.
343. I must remember royalty do not share the same love of parody as my bard.
344. No matter how much I make my IQ roll by, I can't make the other guy's head explode.
345. I don't have weapon proficiency in elf, either.
346. I most certainly don't have weapon proficiency in a Phased-plasma rifle in the forty watt range.
347. If I'm not the decker, I can't do anything I saw in Tron once.
348. The rest of the party appreciates it if I don't start the game in Cyberpsychosis.
349. Power Word: Beer Me is not a real spell.
350. I am not allowed to buzz ANYTHING.
351. I cannot take skill Profession: Ecdysiast
352. When I choose my wizard's familar, Belgians are not a legal choice.
353. I cannot pick a Destroid that makes the Veritech pilots feel inadequate.
354. Tricking the party into killing each other off and then turning in their corpses for the bounty is frowned upon.
355. My monk's battlecry is not "Round 1: Fight!"
356. No matter how well I roll, the Quack skill is not a substitute for the Doctor skill.
357. I cannot disassemble a car in under 5 minutes.
358. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot make a character that gets double XP per game for showing up.
359. Killing quicklings with marbles only works once.
360. I must remind the GM that my Blessed can Raise Dead before he runs another murder mystery again.
361. It is not feasible for my Archer to recreate Hudson's Last Stand.
362. It is very unlikely my half-ogre and the half-elf, half-dragon, tiefling and aasimar have the same dad.
363. When challenged to a showdown, I'm meant to face him at 10 paces with pistols, not 10 blocks with a Sharpe's Big .50.
364. I am to avoid killing, upstaging or seducing historical characters.
365. Not allowed to setup the main villain with the mad scientist's sister.
366. Female minotaurs do not have udders. This issue is closed.
367. No using excessive firepower to force the plot along.
368. My teleporter cannot stop the alien invasion with just the law of displacement, laws of motion, and a huge freakin' asteroid.
369. Not supposed to stop the soon to be cyberpsycho by disassembling him earlier in the adventure.
370. What happens in Sigil does not always stay in Sigil.
371. No thinking up new, creative and fun uses for cursed items.
372. Cannot start the game blitzed, especially if I was stone sober at the last game break.
373. It is bad form for the queen to see my nipples.
374. I am not to combine the advantage Fearless and the disadvantage Curious in the same character again.
375. Killing the building does not add to my body count.
376. The barbarian must remember that 'human shield' is a figure of speech.
377. My character is required to have a minimum wisdom of 10, that way I have no excuses.
378. I can cannot give my character the moniker "Tim the Barbarian". Especially since he's the bard.
379. I am to stop asking the elf to put a good word in for me with Santa.
380. I cannot use the ventriloquism skill to convice the fighter his new sword is a magical talking one.
381. Min/Max for combat=good. Min/Max for accounting=bad.
382. I can't bet the power gamer he can't solo the module.
383. It is not ok to use 10,000 rounds to kill two sentries.
384. The titles "Viking" and "Obstretrician" are mutually exclusive.
385. All characters will use the bathroom before the dungeon crawl.
386. The following words are not legal for the command spell: Prognosticate, theorize, notarize.
387. I cannot give magic items super easy commands words like 'is' or 'the' and activate when you say them.
388. Pursue means chase after, not just make called shots to the knees.
389. My samurai is not required to commit seppuku if he fails to hit the monster.
390. My character's background must be more indepth than a montage of Queen lyrics.
391. A starting paladin has no conceivable use for industrial lubricant.
392. I am forbidden to see when halflings or gnomes bounce higher.
393. If I can fit my head down the gun's barrel, I can assume it doesn't have the non-lethal option.
394. If the light spell expires, no lighting the dwarf.
395. I cannot have any weapon that requires me to crank start it first.
396. I will refrain from using wildly inaccurate high explosive weapons in close quarters.
397. I will not tell new players that 1st level characters do not have a scent as a defense mechanism.
398. No matter what popular media says, harpoons are not proper ninja weapons.
399. When I have to pick a starting dementia, Stockholm Syndrome is not appropriate.
400. Check the door means to listen at it, not put several rounds through it.
401. When a virgin sacrifice is demanded I will not look knowingly at the paladin, netrunner or Hermetic.
402. No matter how many people I need to feed, I will not use MDC weapons to fish.
403. My rigger does not get a bonus if his log in code is up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right, A, B, A, B, Start.
404. No subcontracting dungeon crawls.
405. I will not name my character for the power gaming campaign Generic Cleave Path Fighter #7.
406. The first rule of Finnegan school is not "Do not talk about Finnegan school"
407. I will not blow all my starting funds on hookers and booze.
408. If I have to sacrifice my fifth dot in resources to afford it, I can't have that gun.
409. I will not cast darkness at the magic missile.
410. If the NPC is on the cover of the rulebook, I can't kill him.
411. It is bad form to shoot a god while he's monologuing.
412. I will not try to skip to the main boss dressed like a singing telegram.
413. The chaotic neutral alignment is forever closed to me.
414. If my stats are STR10 DEX10 CON8 INT16 WIS17 CHA15 I'd better not be the half-orc barbarian.
415. My archmage will not join a party running Keep on the Borderlands as a ringer.
416. I will not substitute accuracy with enthusiasm.
417. The solution to all my problems is not Crinos.
418. Steel toe boots do not add to my AC.
419. Spankings generally will not change evil alignments.
420. "For the King" is an example of a good battle cry. "Smoke the Mother" is not.
421. I will not convince the GM's noob GF to play a psychotic combat monster.
422. My marital status does not affect in anyway my fear checks.
423. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot play a duck.
424. I cannot liven up the adventure with snappy musical numbers. Even if they did it on the TV show.
425. Chainsaws and butter churns filled with bees do not use the same weapon skill.
426. Thirty minutes after a massive battle against Cathayans I am not bloodthirsty again.
427. I cannot do anything I saw Jackie Chan do once. Even if I am in Home Depot at the moment.
428. I will never create a plan that first hinges on the invention of velcro.
429. If the character isn't deaf, his only language cannot be AMSLAN.
430. Spray paint is not a substitute for proper camouflage.
431. We will not implement any battle plan that includes the underlined words "And hope they miss a lot"
432. Cannot put anything featuring Calvin on my starfighter.
433. I will not find a peaceful solution to the adventure just to piss off the power gamer.
434. Never again will I convince a player to keep a character nicknamed "Stumpy McLunger"
435. No bribing the DM's new GF with chocolate so he'll go easy on us.
436. Even if my cleric has the domains of Wealth and Healing doesn't give me the right to start an HMO.
437. From now on my Highlander will refrain from dancing the Can-Can.
438. The ability to afflict everyone in 150' with herpes is not an acceptable super power.
439. I will not start the game as a toddler just to rack up massive stat bonuses as I age.
440. I am forbidden from trying to merge the best features of automatic weapons and manual transmissions.
441. There is an upper limit on the number of people a bullet will go through.
442. When told to be subtle, playing a foul mouthed chain smoking squirrel is not a good choice.
443. Zombies are not infectious in D&D. So I should stop shooting PCs in the head if they are bitten.
444. Whether it's fair or not, my thief will not insist we take turns checking for traps.
445. I will not admonish my fellow paladin with 'a little less lawful, a little more good'
446. Ninjas are not ablative.
447. If the NPC is critical to the plot later, I cannot crit him 4 times in one round.
448. I will not attempt to unionize the brutes.
449. I will not switch to an entirely new class every single time I level.
450. When told to distract the villainess, they didn't mean with a surprise marriage proposal.

2006-03-23T21:46:00.000-06:00

Girl Genius Online Comics

Girl Genius is pure Genius.

If Phil Foglio were a ... a ... well ... if he were something he'd be a real cool that something!

The man rawks people.

2006-03-18T14:39:00.000-06:00

PvPonline.com · Hosted By SPEAKEASY.NET

Boobs. It's what's for dinner.

2006-03-17T01:11:00.000-06:00

Pen & Paper Art Gallery

This is the coolest collection of fantasy art I've yet to find on the net. Much of the stuff is from fantasy role playing games. Check it out

2006-03-12T20:53:00.000-06:00

Tickle: Tests, Matchmaking and Social Networking

"Congratulations, Joe! Your IQ score is 136

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Visionary Philosopher. This means you are highly intelligent and have a powerful mix of skills and insight that can be applied in a variety of different ways. Like Plato, your exceptional math and verbal skills make you very adept at explaining things to others — and at anticipating and predicting patterns. And that's just some of what we know about you from your IQ results. "

Seems I'm kinda smartish like.

2006-02-24T22:35:00.000-06:00

My first Blog and I'm using the BlogThis! extension for Mozilla's Firefox browzer.

RULE!